


screw online school and screw you too

by bluejay_07



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Gen, I sound like a liar lmfao, Past Attempted Murder, Past Violence, Please Kill Me, breaking news: local idiot has breakdown over plague and vents all their trauma to the internet, evo is a metaphor, implied suicidal thoughts, probably gonna take this down later, this universe is like Minecraft but with social media, tw for:, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28613133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluejay_07/pseuds/bluejay_07
Summary: I wrote this back in September, but considering I broke down crying in homeroom today it’s probably still accurate to what I’m feeling. READ THE TAGS BEFORE READING.
Relationships: None
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	screw online school and screw you too

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve never seen all of yhs i saw the first episode and never looked in it’s direction again because sam gave me bad vibes.

Grian’s life was a cycle.

_ Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr. _

He couldn’t bring himself to leave his base, and besides, he had school. That stupid GED program he’d signed himself up for, because he’d, y’know, been presumed dead and therefore not allowed to get his diploma and-

_ Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr. _

He cursed himself inwardly as he paced around the aviary of his white concrete monolith, he was supposed to be doing school-  _ but your tablet’s broken,  _ said a voice in his head,  _ but you can’t do school-  _ but he SHOULD be doing school, he could do it if he really wanted to he was just making excuses-

_ Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr. _

He sat down at his laptop, closing the Twitter tab he had open and trying to focus on the directions that were on-screen. He clicked the link, and-  _ shit. _

_ You do not have access to this d _

Grian didn’t bother to read the rest. He’d gotten that message fifty times in the space of fifteen minutes. He couldn’t do the assignment.

But he  _ could,  _ if he tried hard enough, he was just  _ procrastinating. _

_ Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr. _

He pulled up a Tumblr page, trying to lose himself in a fictional world.

It didn’t work.

He slammed his laptop shut, scaring several birds on the ground next to him. Four days into the year, and he felt like shit. Four days. What had he been doing last September 10th? He didn’t know. (Of course he knew he was just lying to himself again, like he always did.)

Images ran through his head. Sophomore year. The day he ran away. A new world, and the odd way time worked there. A sense of belonging. Watching it all fall away. Yet another new place, a harsh place. Pain.

Gods, he remembered it all. 

He flapped his purple wings in agitation. Those memories seemed to show up with no invitation, walking into his head and lingering there, rent free.

And what frustrated Grian the most is that he wasn’t allowed to talk about it. He had to squish it all down inside, otherwise people would start giving him weird looks. X had expressly forbidden him from telling anyone about Sam, or Taurtis, or Crown, or 

Braid, as if it would all magically go away if he  _ shut up _ .

But he couldn’t live like that. Not unless he wanted to start sleeping every hour of the day, or randomly break down crying in public (not that he had that problem right now, he hadn’t left his base in days.)

Grian didn’t want to try and project some flimsy image of ‘okay’, but he  _ needed  _ to. 

There was some hopeless, desolate feeling in the back of his mind that he didn’t want to give a name to. It was so familiar, and yet so, so horrifying. He couldn’t tell anyone, of course. He didn’t want people to worry, didn’t want to be a  _ burden. _

Grian wanted to be listened to, but didn’t want to inconvenience anyone by talking to them. 

He wanted to believe it was all okay but also wanted to admit that it wasn’t.

He wanted to be allowed to be okay.

He wanted to be allowed to not be okay.

He wasn’t sure.

Grian sprinted towards the hole in his floor, free-falling down to the first level, before 

gracefully gliding to the ground on his wings.

He made his way to the bed hidden among the trash fire he called a storage area. 

Maybe he needed a nap.

Maybe things would be better tomorrow.

He knew they wouldn’t be. But he could pretend.

**Author's Note:**

> So back in the first week of September my school iPad broke and it took like a week for a new one to come in and while that week was happening i couldn’t do any assignments. This was originally meant to be about my frustration at that but it also happened to be the anniversary of ✨ b a d s h i t ✨ happening to me. I’m out of that situation now, but if i told you the full context you’d think I’m a liar. :P


End file.
